Something happened.

Gw udah lama banget ga nulis di blog karena beberapa alasan:
1. Gw kebanyakan nulis di evernote
2. Kalaupun lagi pengen curhat ke dunia maya biasanya hanya bisa curhat setengah hati di line.
3. Lagi super sibuk belakangan ini.
Yep, tapi somehow hari ini gw pengen nulis lagi di blog. Oke, awalnya sih bermula dari gw yang iseng ngegoogle nama diri sendiri, ketemu blog ini dan akhirnya mulai dari baca post paling awal sampe paling akhir. Intinya gw sangat kaget dengan perubahan gaya penulisan gw. Di awal-awal tipe penulisan gw menggebu-gebu dan, well, have an unforgivable tackyness that I didn't think I possessed, tapi di rada ujung gw lebih kalem nulisnya. Gw rasa sih mulai rada kalem setelah fangirling phase gw menyurut. I sometimes miss it though, the instant gratification after fandoming. Gw masih a fangirl, tapi bukan fangirl maniak kaya zaman-zaman pre-black december. Lebih tepatnya gw sekarang hanya a borderline fangirl, which is healthier than that I was before. Gw masih merasa bahagia kalau liat Benedict dan serangkaian aktor favourite gw, tapi ngga seobsesif dulu.

Perubahan gaya penulisan ini disinyalir akibat perubahan yang terjadi imrl. Something happened. Gw ngga bisa menjelaskan, tapi my primary coping methods which are repression and projection with a dab of humour as my defence mechanism, yang sering gw puji keefektifannya ngga bisa dipake dengan baik lagi. It's not what one might say an enormous problem, but it's enough of a problem to make me struggle to keep myself sane. Untungnya source of my distress berada nun jauh di kota Jakarta, sehingga gw ngga terlalu terexpose dan masih bisa sorting out my mind and feelings sebelum benar-benar menghadapinya.

In the end semuanya berakhir dengan lumayan. Tapi, walaupun masalahnya udah kelar, pikiran gw masih dihantui oleh residues of the said problem, which making me a bit vulnerable and also unstable at the time being. Lucky for me, permasalahan gw saat ini hanya juggling classes and rehearsal buat pentas, jadi insya Allah sih ga akan mental break down mendadak juga.

Anyway enough of that depressing part! Gw sekarang lagi bangga-bangganya dengan social life gw. Sebagai introvert smuck gw memiliki banyak kenalan baru dalam kurun waktu beberapa bulan belakangan ini. I'm no social butterfly tapi gw bukan a total social inept lagi. Yay! Gw masih tetep ga nyaman buat memulai pembicaraan/bahkan nyapa kenalan baru (kecuali beberapa exception), tapi setidaknya gw masih berusaha untuk berada disana.

Sebenernya sih mau ngomongin tentang penbes juga, tapi rasanya lebih baik setelah pentas aja gw nulis blog lagi yang menjelaskan perasaan gw tentang penbes. Sedikit spoiler aja sih: proses penbes ini bikin gw kebat-kebit sekaligus merasa guilty. Apa daya, nasi telah menjadi bubur. Hmmm... yasudahlah cukup sekian dan terimakasih.

x

The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies

First of all. My Hobbit knowledge is a bit rusty because I left my book in Jakarta and I have no access to the previous movies because for some reason my harddisk adapter is broken (glaring at the wall for I can't glare at my mum). Anyway, this is the first time I watch a movie based on a book that I have not reread before watching it. It feels different and shocking. I almost forgot one of the key event in the ending and one other thing that I suspect did happen in the book but I have no recollection at all that leave me gasping for air. Embarrassing, yes, for an avid reader, not to reread the book before going into the movie, but I have to let it pass. Let bygone be bygone.

*exhaling* so, the second the movie started I feel a bit disoriented. They literally continue where they left off and it's a bit too hectic too early for my own taste. But as I found the rhytem, I start to enjoy it. But err, the scene where err, Tauriel and Kili's part their way, it's... hmm. Well the acting was okay but the way it presented sorta feel a little bland (?) for me.

There's a couple of scene that made me sick. Sick as in physically sick. The bird's view shots in the battle scene Galadriel, Saruman, Radagast the Brown, and Elrond VS. the ring wraiths is a bit too much, it makes my head dizzy. And the scene when Thorin finally break out of his dragon sickness makes me dizzy as well, but I get the feeling that it was my reward for being so caught up in the movie and gluing my eyes too hard to the screen.

Ah, the scene where Thorin roared at Bilbo to show him what he was clutching is good. I don't remember reading it (and I suspect that it's not in the book) but it punctuated the dragon sickness so yes I love that scene. The soft expression when he heard Bilbo's explanation that changed in a matter of a split second was painfully beautiful. It's a good thing that they not only highlighted but also bold, underline and italics Thorin's obsession without being too much.

It pretty much the same as the book, only the war (or I might say battle) of the five armies was waaay more grand than what it is in the book. Never mind the book. It was even bigger than the war in LOTR! It's understandable for some reason, so I got no complain about that really. Just getting the fact out of my head.

One thing that really like about the movie is that they make Tauriel. And I know, I know this is very cheeky of me too say but every great war movie should have a badass chick init. It balance the testosteron level and if you're lucky you could even throw a bit of love tragedy in (of course without really deviate the whole story from the plot). In this case, Tauriel works perfectly well. Evangeline Lily's moves were elegant it complement the badassness and the beauty she represent. I'm talking shit here but who cares.

Martin Freeman's acting though.... as I have previously stated in my Path account is.... (wait I didn't actually produce a word to describe it) well. His brilliance shone through his oxymoronic expression (is it even a thing?). I can feel it in my bones when he smiled with his sad eyes and it's killing me. (Going to nip my comment on my path account for a bit)

Martin's face when he said he's my friend is just..... it remind me of the time he said "he's my friend" in The Reichenbach Fall" and the amount of pain I feel when I saw that, almost a 1/2 of the pain I feel in TRF. And it's says a lot actually. Because in TRF, I AM  emotionally invested in the relationship between Martin and Benedict. I'm not that into Martin-Richard Armitage and to make me feels that way... it's just.. well, I could be a bit biased, but damn Martin and his "I'll just say it with my expression" type of acting.

What else. Okay. Lee Pace is soooo stunning I want to claw his face. Ian McKellan is as usual... good, great, gloooorious as expected. Orlando Bloom nice. Well, it's a bit redundant to list of everyone because they're all have done a great job acting wise.

Okay. Done with the little ones, now onto the big picture.
The movie is a tad (are you kidding me?) darker than the previous The Hobbits, that is a fact and I kinda dislike it. And here's an unpopular opinion: I like the idea of making only two the hobbit movie. LET ME FINISH MY OPINION. Yeah I know the detail is very good and I didn't oppose to that, but the way the story split. It didn't sat well with me. It feels too different, the movie, and not as fluid as I would like it to be. But well, it's just a hypothetical opinion. If they did only make two I'm sure I'll say "pity they didn't make it three parts".
Ugh. Humans, right?
And OH! one more thing: I liked "there and back again" better than "the battle of five armies" though now I know why did they change the title. More suitable to the story, because they didn't really think the "back again" is worth more than just a passing.

As a conclusion, I would say that this movie is not without it flaws but still enjoyable. Their strong point is the war and the ending. Okay that is all I want to say.

4 stars for the acting
3 stars for everything else. So I have to say all and all 3 1/2 stars.

Starry Night

First of all I have to say that this post will be written bilingually. English & Indonesian. Kedua, dari sabtu dalam bulan oktober kemaren, gw dan Voni pergi ke kaliurang, and we talked about things, for like 6 hours. Sharing thoughts and feelings. Dan setelah puas ngobrol sampe subuh dan ngabisin uang untuk nongkrong, kita akhirnya pulang ke kosan. And frankly, the journey from there to our own bedsit is what this post is all about.

Sebenarnya dua minggu sebelum hari itu gw dan voni juga naik turun kaliurang pakai motor, but the air was colder somehow. Gw yang dua minggu lalu cuma pake baju tipis masih lebih bisa menahan rasa dingin daripada gw yang kemarin. Tangan gw (dan kemungkinan tangan voni juga) nyaris beku dan sesekali kita berdua berteriak-teriak menyuarakan protes tubuh terhadap dinginnya udara, tapi subuh itu gw tersenyum. Tersenyum karena, dari hasil obrolan selama enam jam itu gw sudah menyimpulkan bahwa gw akhirnya merasa lepas dari dia. Ya, selama ini juga lepas sih, tapi kadang in the back of my head I still believe that he is my Robin. That I will end up like Ted at the end of himym, still pining over Robin. Anyway, malam itu gw yakin, bahwa gw nickname Robin wasn't suitable for him anymore.

Angin berderu-deru di telinga gw, dan untuk pertama kalinya pada hari itu gw mendongakkan kepala buat memandang langit. Subuh itu langitnya bener-bener clear dan bintang bertaburan di langit. And I just can't help but gawked at the magnificent sky. I said to her "gila, bintangnya." And heard a vague agreement from her. So I held my head up for a couple more minutes, soaking up the sheer beauty presented before me. And then it hit me, that the sky reminds me of Van Gogh's painting: Starry Night.

I've been Van Gogh's fan since I was 8, and I can't stress enough that Starry Night was the painting that eased me into loving Van Gogh's work. The way he can capture the different shades of blues, whites, and yellows, like the world was so much colourful in his eyes.

I shivered. Not at the sheer coldness of the air, but at something else.

My train of thoughts led me from his painting to his life. Van Gogh spend his life unappreciated. He trade his paintings for food. And not all of them accept the painting, because people said his paintings weren't great. People laughed at him. Mocked him for his paintings. And he lived his whole life never knowing that his paintings in the far future are one of the cornerstone in the art world. Never knowing that people called him genius and yet he still produce paintings because he loves art. He paint simply because he loves painting. And I thought about myself, about how I never finish my works, my stories and my drawings because sometimes I feel under appreciated. And I was so ashamed. And that's why I wanna restart my project. I want to finish something that I do. I desperately need to, regardless of what people would think about my work.

As I was deep in my own thought, I heard voni's voice carried by the wind. She said "look at that old guy." And I look at him. He was pushing down a cart, getting ready for work I guess. "That man was out this early for work and here we are." She said again. I haven't thought about what did we do that way, but it kind of ironic. I replied something along the line of "yeah, the way we spend money for fun until this late and the way he work for money this early." I don't know whether my comment was either to weak for her to hear or she just didn't want to prolong our discussion about that, but she didn't say anything.

I looked at the sky and once again awed by the stars. It was, the stars was, shining brightly. Almost every time I went home late, which is almost every other night, I stared at the sky for, like, hours. So I don't quite know what ticked me, but that night, wasn't just 'oh look! The sky's pretty' it's, idk feels very magical. It's a bit different from the stars that I usually saw in the city, dimmed and so small. I know why the stars in the city looks a little dim. Itu karena polusi cahaya. Karena manusia membutuhkan penerangan untuk melakukan pekerjaannya, dan karena kegelapan terkadang menakutkan. I looked at the stars and I cried. Tears steadily pouring down my cheek. Gw menangis karena kadang gw lupa bahwa dunia ini indah. Gw terlalu sibuk dengan apa saja yang gw kerjakan, entah mengerjakan tugas, baca fanfic, nonton film, atau apalah. Terlalu sibuk untuk sekedar melihat ke langit. Mengagumi pemandangan yang diberikan secara gratis oleh Allah. And it makes me think about other things thay God gives us. The air. The warm but not burning, the cool and yet not freezing earth. The water. The natural sources in any kind. We humans takes all thoe things for granted.

I was back in my own thought about Van Gogh. He saw the world that way because he have eyes trained to see things that sometimes we over looked. I don't know if any of this make sense, but that's what I got from 40 minutes journey from Kaliurang. And I know that somehow this little thing, like gazing up to the sky at night, can change ones perception. And I will encourage people to stop looking at their phone or laptop for a while and look at the sky. God gives us this captivating nature to look at, and it will be a pity if didn't enjoy it.

"Before we invented civilization our ancestors lived mainly in the open out under the sky. Before we devised artificial lights and atmospheric pollution and modern forms of nocturnal entertainment we watched the stars. There were practical calendar reasons of course but there was more to it than that. Even today the most jaded city dweller can be unexpectedly moved upon encountering a clear night sky studded with thousands of twinkling stars. When it happens to me after all these years it still takes my breath away."

-Carl Sagan

Cheerio!

Revelation. Hamish. And my patient is wearing thin.

Hello! Sudah lama ngga ngeblog, banyak sekali hal baru yang ingin gw sampaikan. Bermacam-macam berita, mulai dari kosan sampe masalah Sherlock. Gw akan urutkan mulai dari kisah yang paling sederhana dan ga penting, okay?

So, first: akhirnya gw pindah dari BSR ke suatu kosan di daerah jakal. Ga barengan sama jelly (sayang banget). Tapi gw ketemu Ririn. Yep, Ririn Yulia Visa, temen SMA gw.

Okay second: kemaren, or tepatnya sejak satu-dua minggu lalu hmm, kayanya sih mulai 1 hari sebelum gw pentas di Purwokerto gw mulai ngerasa all this feeling I have toward q is starting to fade. Dimulai dari, ya satu hari sebelom pergi ke Purwokerto, gw nerima telepon dari nyokap yang...well, matters that is too private to write in here. The only thing you should know about the matters is, that it took my mind completely off q. For a week, I can't eat well, I can't sleep well. I was up to a point where I cry on my sleep...
Anyway, setelah seminggu itu, akhirnya gw balik lagi menjadi sedikit normal. Anehnya gw makin sloppy. Gw mulai cerita ke group of people, bukan ke person-to-person lagi. And I feel fine with it. Bukan seperti gw lagi menceritakan hal yabg sedang terjadi. Gw menceritakannya dalam bentuk past tense. And last night....
Kemaren malem gw duduk depan bilik nyanyi-nyanyi bareng, ngegalau, mencurahkan perasaan lewat lirik (naudzubillah bahasa gw. Hahahah). Dan yang gw pikirkan tau siapa?.....................
Robin.
For those who didn't know who Robin is, ugh.. well do you know who Robin Scherbatsky? Well, I used her name as a code name for someone that was once my boyfriend, because I'm pretty much having the same trouble as Ted Mosby, so yeah, I'm calling him Robin. I'm fairly sure all of my best friends in high school/middle school knew him personally, so I knew that if you read this, you know who this guy is.
So yeah, last night revelation is that kayanya I'm over q.

Okay lanjut, the third is.... gw akhirnya harus mengucapkan selamat tinggal kepada Shannon. Setelah satu tahun lebih kami bersama akhirnya minggu lalu saat gw pulang ke Jakarta, gw menyerahkannya ke pihak lain in exchange for money. Dan lalu sebagai gantinya, let me introduce you to Hamish. He have white, alabaster skin, slim, beautiful beyond imagination, smart, and fun to be with. Bener-bener kaya Hamish yang gw bayangin seperti anaknya Sherlock&John. Which by the way remind me of 'Where I Can't Find You' (gw pengen banget nangis saat ini juga cuma gara-gara inget WICFY). Oh ya. Hp gw semakin mirip kaya John&Sherlock. Yang satu tinggi kurus, yang satu pendek gemuk. Hahahhaha apaan sih, ga penting.

Now onto the fourth...... Sherlock. Did I need more saying? Astaga gimana ya ngejelasinnya. I just saw a #setlock picture spoiler and God... SAkdhakjsjakalhdaj How can you possibly squeeze in the two of them together in one show that have genius writers (even though they are sometimes can be a troll too). It's too perfect it scared me to think that at some point it would be over.
You must know that John finally grew a Watsonian mustache. And what I mean with mustache, I mean SUPER CUTE STACHE. OMGF SHULDA SEE MY FIRST REACTION TO THE PICTURE. I KNOW IT'S HILARIOUS BECAUSE I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF SIRIUS CONVO AND I JUST "BLAAAARRGGJDHSBA WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CUTIE STACHE. HOW COME I DIDINT KNOW ABOUT THIS STACHE BEFIRE. I AHFSSHAJDGKSJAJAH." Yeah, something like that.
And... my Benny darling gif set. The queen guardian's gif set. Oh my god it is perfect. I laugh so hard, not because it's funny or something, but becausr it's my baby darling Benny standing behind that queen guardian wearing that long hat (?) In his beautiful coat, looking completelyadorable taht I wan to hug him from behind and never let him go. (I know I will get a restraining order, but... yeah I have long established that I'm that crazy <just kidding. Of course I wouldn't do that. It almost have the the same meaning as goodbye Mrs. Cumberbatch for me.>
Oh yeah, and  spoilers.... I had enough about that spoiler. I mean, last time I got a spoiler about how Sherlock escape his fall. I mean it's not really a spoiler I guess, still a prediction(?) But...... idk. I honestly dont know what to say. I really want to watch Sherlock, it's been driving me crazy. ARRRGGGHHAHAHHAHH. I DONT KNOW FLALALALLAAAA... And oh, I also want to know what happen next on Cabin Pressure. And I have to wait until next year. Jshsjjahahahdkahagahshd oh god so much thing to wait. My patient is wearing thin.

Well, nampaknya sekian dulu ngblognya karena gw cape ngetik. Soalnya gw ngetik di Hamish bukan di Honey, karena kosan gw ga ada wifi dan gw belom beli modem. Sooo...

Cheerio guys

-giallesa

15/05/13 — Star Trek: Into Batchness (May contain spoilers, well, I lied. It has spoilers all over the place. Don't open if you haven't seen the movie)

Whoah, I don't even know where to start. All I know was, at this time yesterday, I still believe that I wouldn't get the chance to watch Star Trek Into Darkness. And yet here I am, sitting outside the 'bilik' and writing things to put on this blog about that awesome movie that I just finished to watch.

The only way to get the ticket was to use Mtix, that blasted thing is very important for me to have, but apparently I was too ignorant to made one. It allowed me to reserved a ticket online or using text message. I have to reserve a ticket before because I'm afraid that I wouldn't get the ticket (on time) if I have to queue. So yesterday, I was frantically asking everyone I met if they have an Mtix. Apparently they are all not.

My world just fall instantly (hyperbole okay). I have to go through another rehearsal in a crappy mood because of that. Then a friend sat on the corner of the room. I came to him because I secretly (judging from his personality and) hoping he have an Mtix. He didn't. Again, my world ju... What did he said?

"I said, I don't have one, but I'm sure I can borrow it from my friend."

Yadda-yadda-yadda, and then later that day I found myself staring at the purchasing code for the ticket. I almost couldn't sleep last night.

I woke up early this morning, I can't wait to watch the movie so I got up and dressed. I wore that purple shirt of mine and a black chino. I almost wear a scarf, but this isn't sherpalooza, no one would understand it. With a final glance on the mirror, I took off.

I arrived at the cinema long enough to get the ticket, queue for caramel popcorn and watch the trailer.

Sang Kyai: One of the actor looks like my ex, but I bet it's a great movie about war and religious stuff. :3
After Earth: Jaden Smith is the exact copy of his father
Monster Inc 2: I have waited 12 YEARS FOR THIS!
Turbo: I can't wait to see a snail racing with racing cars.
Coboy Junior: .... *head palm*

Okay, here come the spoilers: It was in 3D and....... I swear this is the best 3D movie I ever seen (which was sadly doesn't say anything. Boo-hoo.) The movie start with the scene (which I've seen in the teaser thousand times) where Captain Kirk (Chris Pine) and Bones (Karl Urban) were running toward a cliff in Nibiru Planet. Apparently they was "changing" the native's destiny by saving them from an active vulcano mountain. Sentiment–dilemma–yadda-yadda-yadda–violating starfleet's protocols–they got back home.

Then, a man, (the first time I see him, I thought he was someone, wasn't sure he was really someone that I know, until I leaned forward and... YES IT WAS NOEL CLARKE.) woke up with someone beside him. They got up and visit their sick—nearly died— daughter. Noel was on the balcony (?) when I heard a low deep baritone saying "I can help your daughter." (Or something like that, idk, what can I say, his voice, for a second, cut the oxygen supply to my brain I can't even think, just squealing like a mad fangirl and squirming like fish on dry land) The only thing they shoot was his arse, but I bloody well know who he is. (I mean, come on, I've seen those arse naked, like 15 times a day <well, I print screen the scene in 'To the Ends of the World' and put it on my phone so I can casually stare at it whenever I want>). Noel (I don't know his name in this movie), like any desperate dad, seems to agree to whatever John—pshh, nice name JJ—Harrison (my dear Benedict Cumberbatch) wants in order to save his daughter. The scene change to the Captain Kirk's room where he got a phone call. The scene change again, Kirk and Mr. Spock (Zachary Quinto) walk to starfleet's base. Yadda-yadda-yadda. Turned out Spock filed the report truthfully which cost Kirk his status as captain. The scene change to a laboratories where (my love) John took some of his blood and put a ring inside of a small, idk, thingy (?). The blood was, as I thought, injected by Noel to his daughter's IV and the ring... Well, it was meant for another thing. Again, the scene change, Noel was walking to Starfleet's archive (he saw John on the street, nodding at him <this scene was also on the teaser [and fuck, Benedict, why do you have to look so....fuck... Ah. I mean, so...... YOU KNOW HOW HE LOOK, IT'S HARD TO DESCRIBE, DAMN IT.]>) Then boom, yadda-yadda-yadda. The captains&first officers was gathered in daystorm room to discussed about that thingy, then Kirk have to zoomed out John's photo (I've seen this in the teaser) then Kirk speaks his mind about the thingy, he was getting close to a conclusion when suddenly dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor- (another scene that was on the teaser) a helicopter shoots the room. It was John (and, fuck me, he is attractive. I burrowed myself deep in my seat, hoping it would at least minimised the inhuman-sound that I produce.)

Christopher Pine () died in Mr. Spock's arms, which makes Kirk determined to find John. Flalalala they located where John was (in Klingon). Marcus () ordered Kirk (who has gained his captain status again, just then) to kill John (without baring Starfleet's name) using torpedos (plural. Why do they have to shoot him with that much of a torpedo I don't understand). To this order, Mr. Spock convince Kirk that it was immoral to just kill John. He believes that John have to go to earth to be judged. Flalalala.

They almost reach Klingon when Chenkov (oh, I forgot, Scott<Simon Pegg [hahahah his accent, oh god, why do you have to be sooo fucking cute, Mr. Pegg]> resign after a heated argument with Kirk regarding the topedo. He didn't want to get the torpedos in the ship, because couldn't risk bringing the torpedo without knowing what's inside. He couldn't scanned the torpedo and the crew who deliver the torpedo said it was confidential stuff.) WHEN Chenkov said that there's been a leak in the engine.

Kirk commended a team to go to klingon in a smaller ship (without weapon whatsoever). The team consisted of Spock, Uhura (Zoe Saldana) 2 unknown people, and Kirk himself. Flalalalala. A klingon's random patrols captured them. And then...... DUNDUNDUNDUN... A man with scarf masking his face came and single handedly take out most of klingon's patrol (not really, I mean the Starfleet's team helped, but not so much <Again, this scene was featured in the teaser. And also, this is my favourite scene, [second to be specific] because Benedict darling— uh I mean, John Harrison is such a bad ass in this scene. He was soooo cool and effective. He is like a killing machine, sexy killing machine, mind you. [At this point, I don't even care what the person beside me think, I already said "I'm sorry" to him before the movie started, hoping that he would understand that I was apologising for this]>).

Flalalaa, all the patrolling klingon was dead and John aproach Kirk. He asked about the number of the torpedo that Mr. Sulu (John Cho) threaten to use if John didn't surrender himself. Kirk said 72 and John surrender almost after Kirk said 72 (and that moment, something clicked in my brain. I remember perfectly well about the scene in a teaser where John said "I can give you 72." And I said to myself. "So the torpedo does have something in it. That's why it's a secret").

Flalalaa, they escorted John to a cellar (?) <This scene remind me of the scene where the S.H.I.E.L.D. escorted Loki to his confinement.> [John didn't say anything, but dear God, I really can't help myself. Cumberbatch does have that eerily calm demeanour that make the back of my hair stands. Soo cool and hnnnnggg. *brb away to calm myself*

FAAAKKK. I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM EVEN AFTER I LEFT THE CINEMA. EVEN AFTER MY REHEARSAL, EVEN AFTER I GOT TO MY BEDSIT. EVEN NOW.] (Wow, it didn't work. If anything, it make it worse)

Got to the cellar, yadda-yadda-yadda, John arousing Kirk's temperament. And YES BABY THE CELLAR SCENE FROM 'I ALLOW IT' TEASER! FOR GOD SAKES, I'VE BEEN PREPARING MYSELF NOT TO SQUEE OR DOING SOMETHING STUPID. BUT GOD HELP ME, I QUOTED ALL OF MY BABY BENEDICT'S LINES. ALL. OF. HIS. LINES. MEANS I CAN'T HEAR WHAT HE SAID BECAUSE MY VOICE (even though I just whispered the words) STOPPING ME FROM HEARING THOSE DEEP, SEXY AND OH-SO-FUCKING-HELP-ME-VELVETY-SMOOTH-BARITONE VOICE OF HIS. GAAAAHHH!! *pulling hairs*

So fucking sexy. How does he manage to do that? I mean, DID HE KNOW THAT HE JUST KILL HALF OF HIS FANS JUST FROM TALKING WITH THAT FUCKING VOICE LIKE A FUCKING... Idk. I HAD EARGASM MY EARS ALMOST BLEED.

"Captain you're gonna punch me again, over and over until your arms weaken. Clearly you want to, so tell me why did you allow me to live?"
(I bit the inside of my mouth at the 'clearly you want to' part, because that's soooo SHERLOCK!)

"I surrender to you because despite your attempt to convince me otherways you seem to have a conscience, Mr. Kirk. If you did not than it will be impossible for me to convince you of the truth. 23174611 coordinate not far from earth. If you want to know, why I did what I did. Go and take a look."

"I can give you 72. And they're on board your ship, captain. They have been. All along."

I'm sorry I can't quote Kirk's lines because I don't have it on my working memory. FghJhghjkhgfhjks THE SCENE IS SOO AFHGFDFGHJHGFGHJGFUUUUUDGE. FROM THE MOMENT I SAW THE TEASER I SAID THAT THIS WILL BE MY FAVOURITE SCENE AND I WAS RIGHT! MY KNEES WEAKEN AND FLALALAA HE'S SO FUCKING PERFECT.

I don't know, I can't continue this. This is too much, I'm overwhelmed myself with my own private thought about Benny. This is too much. Well, long story short, it was a great. No, scratch that EPIC.. IT WAS EPIC! I got back from the cinema with a stupid grin/smile/sly smile plastered on my face. THERE! It's done, now I'm going to try to do something else because it is almost 2 in the morning and I need a distraction before sleep. And this... This whole spoilery thingy doesn't help. How could it help? Hahahah. Idk, so I'm stopping myself to write the full story, because this is a very lengthy spoiler. Not a full movie anyway. ;3

Sooo, with that I'm saving this note on my phone at 1.51 am on 16 May 2013... The only reason why I just post this is because I don't have internet connection at my bedsit or fucking signal. So this I me, posting from my phone.

More Rant. (Romantika dalam Gelap)

Hello y’all. Hari ini tanggal 30 April, which means tomorrow is the GR, and the day after tomorrow is the D-day. *Musik rada horor* Yap, mencekam adalah salah satu hal yang bisa mendeskripsikan situasi dan perasaanku saat ini. Karena this is my first time. EVER. I did felt a little tug on (supposedly) my heart, but I handled it by ignoring the feeling, hoping that it would get away sometime, but now I can feel the nudging sensation is getting stronger every second. And it’s getting worse because I have to wait until the show started and I don’t like to wait. It sucks! 

Anyway, tadi gw sempet ngomongin perasaan gw, dan entah kenapa serasa ngga bener-bener ditanggepin. I mean, I’m not complaining, karena emang ga ada juga yang bisa dilakukan mengenai itu. Tapi, oh God entah kenapa gw GR banget kalo dia memberikan gw semangat hanya dengan simple gesture. It may seems like it was just a simple gesture to you, but it’s a big, no scratch that, HUGE thing for me. Gw mendadak semangatnya kaya abis minum air di healing-well, bisa nambah semangat hidup. <3

Ada banyak banget kekurangan yang ada dalam diri gw regarding this play, I hope gw bisa menampilkan my best. Dan kebetulan sekali besok my dear Natasha bakal audisi untuk err, enrolment something, univ? School? Idk for sure pokonya penting buat dia, dan kami sudah berkali-kali saling menyemangati. Gw nyemangatin audisinya dia, dia nyemangatin play gw. :D

Mungkin cukup sekian yang bisa gw ucapkan hari ini. Gw bener-bener nervous dan hal yang membantu gw keep calm secara drastis cuma q. Karena pas stupen pun hal yang menenangkan gw dia, walaupun dia melakukannya secara tidak sadar. HA! Intinya, siapapun yang baca ini, tolong doain kelancaran pementasan kami.

DOAKAN KAMI! 

Ciao y'all.

Full Fandom (with minor q) Ranting. Sherlock & STID

Okay, first off, I've got my new 3TB hard disk which currently still sitting on my desk untouched because I have to install things and I don't think I can handle it right now, maybe later, but I soo excited with it. 3TB means 6 times bigger than my mums and I bought it myself! Ha! Eventhough I have to starve for the next few days, but.. I'm all good now! YAAY! *Happy dance*

Let's move on to the next topic. Sherlock. I wanna say that I love Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss and I know they're the best and I support all of their decision. YEAH even the one decision that destroyed my hope that in this Sherlock Holmes, I will not see John married to a woman. I KNOW I'm a bit delusional, but for fuck sakes it's because of the rumour that has been flooding around that says that they aren't going to cast Mary because there are NO MARY in this series. *sad face* I know I''m horrible. I mean I realised that Johnlock (even though it's obvious) isn't going to happen, but at least my misery will be a lighter if there's no Mary. BUT... As soon as I know who's gonna play Mary, my feelings change! OF COURSE I'M DELIGHTED TO HAVE AMANDA TOBE MARY. I have a really soft spot for that cutie.

FSDAHLGFSFLGJS FUCKKKK. I JSYT LOGGD INTO IMDB AND SAW THIS

Sherlock (TV series)
Mary Morstan

– The Empty Hearse … Mary Morstan (rumored)

I MEAN LIEK. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? THE EMPTY HEARSE? NOT THE SIGN OF THREE? NO NO NO NO NOOOO--- *HEAD SPINNING SO FAST MY STOMACH COYLDN'T HELP IT ANY MROE* HFGADHSHDGKJDGAJKD
OKAY CALM DOWN BITCH *slapping myself* yeah, logically, I should have know that SHE IS GOING TO BE IN THE EMPTY HEARSNEOHMYGOD HSAGHGSAKH. YES BECAUSE THE SHOOTING OF TEH SIGHN OF THREE JYST STARTED A COUPLE DAYS AGO AND I KNEW THAT SHE IS IN FACT HAS ALREADY ON THE SET SINCE (idk err...) NEARLY THE END OF THE EMPTY HEARSE SHOOTING? WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THAT SHOCKED. (well of course because I read the book and John met Mary for the for the first time in The Sign of Four so SHE SHOULD MEET JOHN IN THE SIGN OF THREE, RIGHT? RIGHT? RIGHT?)

dfkhagdhagdsgjha ANYWAY! That isn't the thing that I want to rant about. This is about my disappointment for (a small group in) my fandom. I thought that we're an civilised human being, and from my point of view, bullying Amanda ISN'T! Yeah, I know that we're a very very veryyyyy large huge big gigantic enormous fandom, certainly there will be some people who will be find something that they didn't like, but for god sake SHUT UP. If you want to speak your mind, then go ahead, but don't try to bully someone like that. It's just.. it wasn't very nice okay. Not good! I'm ashamed. AND Mark's partner's, Ian tweet just make it worse. It's about how delusional Johnlockian for thinking that Johnlock is really going to happen. (well, his tweet was a bit more subtle than that). Anyway I think I got made myself clear that I support them in a way most fans could only do: waiting patiently and accepting every decision they make about the series. And I do believe that I'm not that really good at waiting, so I can only focusedon the second thing. And to be honest I think it'll be great judging by the (spoiler) #setlock that appeared on my twitter timeline (yes, I'm not proud of myself that I succumb to open the link, but IT WAS RIGHT THERE??? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SHUT OFF THE VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD THAT CALLING ME *mocking tone* gitaa~ giiiitaaa~) HAH! Back to the point. It will be great. Amanda Abbington will be great, Mark, Steven, and Steve's writings are gonna be awesome, Martin baby is going to be magnificent, and my dear honey Benny will be FCUKING UNBELIEVABLY FLAWLESS.

UH UH UH!!! Speaking of Benny darling's movie, STID. It look amazing. Oops. No, it was UNBELIEVABLY AMAZING, WITH NO DOUBT I WILL SPLATTERING MY OVARIES ALL OVER THE PLACE IN THE CINEMA AND WILL BE AT ALL TIME HAVING AN EARGASM WHENEVER MY BABY'S SPEAKING..... yeah, that's more like it. I mean, siriusly, I've been browsing through youtube and find bits and snippets of the movie and it WAS ALL FANTASTICO! And Benny's voice. Hmm. I can get off simply from hearing his voice speaking in his John Harrison character. Deep, baritone, sexy, mindfucking voice. It almost sounds like he purred most of the time. And MY GOD HIS FACE. God, HOW COULD YOU CREATE SUCH A HANDSOME CREATURE LIKE HIM? His face doesn't help at all. I'm pretty sure from 5/6 STID clips that I watch I made gagging noise because my lust for him just choke me. Choking me like an artichoke (? Git, please.... *pleading face then shaking her head*) OKAY. I mean, how could you not get turned on by sexy and superbadass villain with sexy deep baritone voice? Anyway, I should bring emergency underwear to the cinema, you know, in case I can't hold it anymore. I know myself better that Ben's voice is not healthy for my pants.

I can't not express how excited I am to watch the movie. Oh I can't wait for the premier. OH premier.... *day dreaming* my Benny darling will be the one that look incredibly dashing that other people turn into gravels. He'll wear that suit and combed his hair back. He's going to look amazing, his face is going to look amazing, his hair is going to look amazing, his body is going to look tempting (? LOL), his clothes is going to look amazing, and his arse are going to look amazing! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE PHOTOGRAPH FROM THE PREMIER. :3

Anyway, I just found out that it's neither 9 May nor 17 May, the release date is 15 MAY. 9th was the release date in UK and 17th was in US.. So, 15!! It's is really convenient for me, because, first of all, my director just confirmed that we will be back from the show in 20th and you know how the story gonna end if it released at 9th? I'm too tired then I'm gonna postponed it until it the end. 15th May is good! Not too crowded but not too late (if i watch it on 21st). AND OH I'M GOING TO SAVE MY MONEY SO I CAN WATCH IT TWICE. I SWEAR I'M GOING TO WATCH IT TWICE!! Or even three times!

Lastly, I just want to stop putting label on my feeling toward q, because HELL idk if I just like him, love him, obesessed with him, adore him, fangirling at him, or just confused, because I swear to God watching him giggles turn my insides into hundred thousands of butterflies that whirrling in my stomach, and yet I didn't really............. AH never mind that! POKONYA LONGLIVE CUMBERLORD!

OH I JUST REMEMBER. I... am starting to love Benedict all over again. The way it excite me when I heard someone mentioned him, the way his face makes me smile, the way I get extra defensive whenever I heard someone bad mouthing him. The proud moment when you can bragged about him. Everything! <3 Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch


KAY, LONG LIVE AND PROSPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!