OH DEAR GOD!

SDAFGHKDKHDLFKLJKHDFSKFN WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPEN WITH FRIENDSTER????

A few years ago I decided to abandon my friendster, because duh that's friendster is full of alayers, but I occasionally opened it because I've write a few post. (A few stupid post to be accurate) and I would like to read it from time to time, BUT--- NOW FRIENDSTER'S DIFFERENT!! It's-it's-it's now a games site!! I haven't even import the blog. NOOOO-- jdlkfjhdlsfjsh;dfhkfjhdsgljkhfl

Okay, I'm finish with this rants.

cheerio,
gita---

Oh goody, I'm being a bit typeactive again.

First of all:
Happy Eid Mubarak 1433 H!

I'm in a really good fanfiction writing mood, but somehow I choose to write on this blog. That's a bit weird, but probably happen because the things that I want write. Now, to the point. So, yesterday, my uncles visited my house and doing their small-but-routine interview to me. One of the question is 'Where are you going to school?' 'psychology ugm' said I proudly. And then they started asking me, why did I choose this major, how many credit that I have to take, what am I going to do after I finish my school and everything else that got me thinking about my future, especially about my next few years. I'm going away in less than 72 hours and I still don't have any idea about anything (well, technically I have few ideas but nevermind that).

That is one of the thing that have been hovering above my head, but there is one other thing, the most frightening thing about this whole matters, Am I going to enjoy doing it? This is not the first time I experienced this phase, the last one end up badly and make me quit. That's not a very good thing and I certainly do not want it to happen again. I asked myself reason why I failed last year, and there's 2 thing that immediately popped out:

1. The major is not really the major that I want.
2. I have this goddamn lazy bone in my arse.

So there I have it, two unbelievably silly reasons why I quit (okay not really that simple, but well, something like that). And other questions follow the reasons above like a river. Is this really the major that I want? Will I stop being an idiot and focus on my education rather than my abnormal obsession toward filming industry? Can I finish my school with great GPA? yadda, yadda, yadda.

That questions led me to this fine morning. After a long and lazy morning, I decide to do a little research of what I'm going to do (at least) until next year. I sat on the computer
(not my laptop, which means I'm pretty serious with this. One point for my pure intention please!) and start finding useful things. My academic calender (I'm going to post it at the end of the post), list of the credits, the organisation/UKM/BKM that I want to join, site that probably be my favourite journal search engine or this one, TransJogja Route, and a couple of important site.

Anyway, that's not really important. The only thing that I want to highlight is this pure joy that I feel while searching for the information. Like when I opened the list of the credit and read it. It says psychology! My stomach flooded with excitement and that makes my heart beats faster. Almost like the feeling I have when I start reading good fanfics. I take this as a good sign, because I distinctly remember my feeling when I was doing this kind of thing last year. No excitement, no proud feeling, actually, I have no feeling at all.

Actually I want write more rants about this, but apparently I have to go and start packing my things. *Sigh* I really hate packing my stuff! Huff, doesn't matter. Off I go.

cheerio,

gita---

Yogyakarta-- Oh God please help me why am I so random at writing post like this

SAGHSFGHHJKH What kind of post is that? Anyway this is the real post. (maksudnya post yang tadi itu bener" melenceng dari hal yang sebenernya mau gw omongin.)

*Breath in, breath out* Jadi gini. Sebelum gw tiba-tiba mental breakdown lagi gw bakal menyampaikan maksud gw dengan cepat.

Ada banyak hal yang gw suka dari Jakarta, gw suka hiruk pikuknya, gw suka macetnya (weheheh. mentang" kaga pernah nyetir sih ya?), gw suka segala kemudahan yang bisa gw dapet disini. Lebih-lebih lagi gw punya banyak temen disini. I'm not known for my social skills in fact, I'm such a social inept. Hal ini yang bikin gw merasa kurang nyaman sama keadaan baru. Apalagi pindah ke suatu tempat yang saaangat asing. The only person that I know well in Yogya is my cousin. And he is the only one. Well, you can count a couple of person there like Ririn, Tantri and Ka Aisha, BUT I'M NOT REALLY CLOSE WITH THEM!! (okay selow Git.)

Intinya gw dalam waktu kurang lebih 2 minggu lagi bakal merantau di tempat yang sangat asing. And that scares me. A LOT!

The positive side of my re-location is: I can start over. Anything that I can't start over properly here like sindiran" menusuk pantat tentang mantan lah, or maybe stopping my bad habit (well, I say maybe) I get to have a fresh start. Along with my super adventurous instinct -an instinct that getting duller as I write because I rarely get a permission to get out the house- I can explore this untouched region (I mean untouched by me) as I like. MUAHAHAH *Evil laugh*

My friend over here, just post a lovely post about Yogyakarta and I agree with her. It is romantic. A really good City to start over. :) I'm not really looking forward to leave, but at least I'm not leaving to a place that gloomier then Jakarta.

*sigh* This is not the end git, do not fret! You can still contact them all, you got internet, bbm, whatsapp, and everything. You're not in the stone age you know. ;)

I hope I can do something with my communication problem but I agree with Jawn (in #PILAR; MadLori)

It would start out enthusiastic. How've you been, play's going great, shooting a guest-starring arc on a telly programme, seems like yesterday we were in Toronto, remember when and how about that time and gosh it was a blast.
The daily mails would become every-other-day mails, then once-a-week mails. The heartfelt chats would become perfunctory small talk. Eventually there'd be the inevitable "well, best of luck, see you sometime" email and that would be that. And he couldn't bear it. He couldn't stand to let what he and Sherlock shared in Toronto devolve predictably from a deep connection into a superficial one, and eventually to none at all. He'd rather never speak to Sherlock again and hold what they'd had safe in his heart than let it spin away into nothingness because he couldn't let go. He wanted no part of it. He would place Sherlock into a bubble and seal him tight away, down deep where no one else could touch him, and there he'd stay, no matter what happened this fall or next year or for the rest of his life.

I can't believe that I can smuggle #Johnlock in this post. trololol

Perasaan gw rada mirip captured banget sama beberapa paragraf diatas. (tentu saja ganti kata HE nya dengan gw, dan kata" yang dicoret dengan orang" terdekat gw/lokasi/kegiatan apa yang kita lakuin bareng) Pokonya ngertilah kalo gw ngga pengen kalo itu cuma awalnya aja conversation yang menggebu-gebu karena masih anget-angetnya pisah berubah jadi conversation yang makin lama makin jarang dibales dan endingnya setopan ga jelas dengan 'well good luck ya.' cih apaantug ngga jelas banget!

Anyway gw lagi ngomongin apaan sih? Ko gw makin lama makin ngaco aja sih omongannya makin ngelantur. HA! ternyata udh jam 12:36 no wonder. This is always happen with 12am writer. We're not very bright in this kind of time.

Well, I guess this is all that I want to say. I love you all, semua temen fangirling, temen yang ngga bisa disebutin sebiji-sebiji karena kececer ga bernama dan ngga berkategori karena cuma berdua, UTS, combro, 2009. <3 It's a privilege to know you all. I hope distance doesn't mean anything and SALAM OLAHRAGA!


cheerio,
gita---

Where my heart lies

So, tadi waktu bangun, gw punya niatan mau bikin blog ini blog half fangirling blog half my real life blog, dan sedari tadi gw udh 4 jam utak-atik segala profilnya lah, designnya, about me nya apa sampe tetek bengeknya, namun akhirnya gw putuskan kalo gw setengahin gitu, blog gw jadi ngga indah sama sekali. Jadilah gw tetep stick ke format awal. blog ini khusus kehidupan gw yang sinetron dan ngga pernah abis petualangannya. Ha-ha-ha.

Tadi sore, sekitar jam (blank) gw lupa pokonya intinya ada temen gw yang ngeblog tentang ke romantisan kota Yogyakarta. Kota yang kelak akan gw tempat untuk sekitar 3 setengah tahun (yeah, I'm pretty optimistic that I can finish this in 3 and a half year. WISH ME LUCK PEOPLE!!)
Ada hal mistik dari kota ini yang gw ngga bisa ilangin dari pertama kali gw kunjungin. Bukan mistik a.k.a spooky gimana gitu ya, mystical and exciting. Kota yang damai, santai dan siriusly romantic (Yeah, I agree that city is somehow seems romantic) Gw yakin gw bakalan betah disana---------

Okay I lied. I don't like this at all. I mean, I'm grateful that I got accepted in UGM. No you cannot understand what does it means to me. I means something bigger than 'just get into public school' No-- I got second chance. To prove to other that I'm not somekind of loser and a non-finisher. This is my golden ticket. To finish something that I want. Something that I like, my passion.

But that's not the problem.

This city is the place where my heart lies.

I grew up in several different places but I can reach that place within an hour with car, even though I rarely go there, but at least I know I can go there IF I want to. This is so much harder then I thought. I can't understand how come people not missing their hometown. I'm sorry if you think imma cry baby. I just want everyone to know that moving away isn't something that I really like.
I don't like changes. I like my room. I like it even if I don't have a doorknob or curtain. Even if wifi didn't reach my bed so I have to sit on the floor, and sometimes, when my sister suddenly want to check me out I got knocked up because I sit behind the door (which is miraculously the only place that have the strongest wifi signal in my room).
ANYWAY that's not the thing that I want to say. It's the people that I left here that makes this thousand times harder. I know I'm not the kind of person who like to text/call/chat my friends. I rarely goes to the assembly (assembly? hah! my strange vocabulary, mind you). I didn't go to their touring. I didn't regularly check out my friends' blog, I hate to sign in to facebook even though I know we have a message thread there. But believe me. I love them all. And leaving them is the biggest reason I always pretend to be busy when my mom ask me to do the packing.
This is not the kind of thing that I can do easily. I have this (some sort of) abandonment issue. Not talking about him leaving me. I don't care. (I lied again. So what? Problem?) Anyway. this is always happen. I don't know why, but I always feel left behind. Mostly cause I'm not permitted to go outside.
I have 5 bestfriend in JHS, two of them now live in Bandung, but they all meet each other far often then me getting to meet them. I sometimes go to Cibubur for days but I can't go to meet them because I have to stay in the house.
4 bestfriend in SHS, well, I'm not really having any problem with them (now) because our daily activity is mainly in Jakarta --except si boyot. I guess I'm missing her. That's the only problem. :< 
And I have friends (more like a family tho--) I always try to attend the events, but it's they always seem to think that that is never enough because maybe in 100 meeting I only attended like 20 times. I don't know how come they always come, but they always did, and that makes my effort seems little and unappreciated. BZZZTT. Sorry that's not the point, the point is.... I seems to spend to little time with them. And every time they brag about it I always felt left behind (even though it's mostly my fault 'cause I'm not good at asking permission or not rebellious enough to lie and force myself to come.)

So there you have me. I'm not good at making friends, and I have a couple of friends here that I'm not ready to leave because of that irrational abandonment issue that actually not really an abandonment problem. Oh God, I think too much that I lose my wit. HELP WHY AM I WRITING THIS?????