Revelation. Hamish. And my patient is wearing thin.

Hello! Sudah lama ngga ngeblog, banyak sekali hal baru yang ingin gw sampaikan. Bermacam-macam berita, mulai dari kosan sampe masalah Sherlock. Gw akan urutkan mulai dari kisah yang paling sederhana dan ga penting, okay?

So, first: akhirnya gw pindah dari BSR ke suatu kosan di daerah jakal. Ga barengan sama jelly (sayang banget). Tapi gw ketemu Ririn. Yep, Ririn Yulia Visa, temen SMA gw.

Okay second: kemaren, or tepatnya sejak satu-dua minggu lalu hmm, kayanya sih mulai 1 hari sebelum gw pentas di Purwokerto gw mulai ngerasa all this feeling I have toward q is starting to fade. Dimulai dari, ya satu hari sebelom pergi ke Purwokerto, gw nerima telepon dari nyokap yang...well, matters that is too private to write in here. The only thing you should know about the matters is, that it took my mind completely off q. For a week, I can't eat well, I can't sleep well. I was up to a point where I cry on my sleep...
Anyway, setelah seminggu itu, akhirnya gw balik lagi menjadi sedikit normal. Anehnya gw makin sloppy. Gw mulai cerita ke group of people, bukan ke person-to-person lagi. And I feel fine with it. Bukan seperti gw lagi menceritakan hal yabg sedang terjadi. Gw menceritakannya dalam bentuk past tense. And last night....
Kemaren malem gw duduk depan bilik nyanyi-nyanyi bareng, ngegalau, mencurahkan perasaan lewat lirik (naudzubillah bahasa gw. Hahahah). Dan yang gw pikirkan tau siapa?.....................
Robin.
For those who didn't know who Robin is, ugh.. well do you know who Robin Scherbatsky? Well, I used her name as a code name for someone that was once my boyfriend, because I'm pretty much having the same trouble as Ted Mosby, so yeah, I'm calling him Robin. I'm fairly sure all of my best friends in high school/middle school knew him personally, so I knew that if you read this, you know who this guy is.
So yeah, last night revelation is that kayanya I'm over q.

Okay lanjut, the third is.... gw akhirnya harus mengucapkan selamat tinggal kepada Shannon. Setelah satu tahun lebih kami bersama akhirnya minggu lalu saat gw pulang ke Jakarta, gw menyerahkannya ke pihak lain in exchange for money. Dan lalu sebagai gantinya, let me introduce you to Hamish. He have white, alabaster skin, slim, beautiful beyond imagination, smart, and fun to be with. Bener-bener kaya Hamish yang gw bayangin seperti anaknya Sherlock&John. Which by the way remind me of 'Where I Can't Find You' (gw pengen banget nangis saat ini juga cuma gara-gara inget WICFY). Oh ya. Hp gw semakin mirip kaya John&Sherlock. Yang satu tinggi kurus, yang satu pendek gemuk. Hahahhaha apaan sih, ga penting.

Now onto the fourth...... Sherlock. Did I need more saying? Astaga gimana ya ngejelasinnya. I just saw a #setlock picture spoiler and God... SAkdhakjsjakalhdaj How can you possibly squeeze in the two of them together in one show that have genius writers (even though they are sometimes can be a troll too). It's too perfect it scared me to think that at some point it would be over.
You must know that John finally grew a Watsonian mustache. And what I mean with mustache, I mean SUPER CUTE STACHE. OMGF SHULDA SEE MY FIRST REACTION TO THE PICTURE. I KNOW IT'S HILARIOUS BECAUSE I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF SIRIUS CONVO AND I JUST "BLAAAARRGGJDHSBA WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CUTIE STACHE. HOW COME I DIDINT KNOW ABOUT THIS STACHE BEFIRE. I AHFSSHAJDGKSJAJAH." Yeah, something like that.
And... my Benny darling gif set. The queen guardian's gif set. Oh my god it is perfect. I laugh so hard, not because it's funny or something, but becausr it's my baby darling Benny standing behind that queen guardian wearing that long hat (?) In his beautiful coat, looking completelyadorable taht I wan to hug him from behind and never let him go. (I know I will get a restraining order, but... yeah I have long established that I'm that crazy <just kidding. Of course I wouldn't do that. It almost have the the same meaning as goodbye Mrs. Cumberbatch for me.>
Oh yeah, and  spoilers.... I had enough about that spoiler. I mean, last time I got a spoiler about how Sherlock escape his fall. I mean it's not really a spoiler I guess, still a prediction(?) But...... idk. I honestly dont know what to say. I really want to watch Sherlock, it's been driving me crazy. ARRRGGGHHAHAHHAHH. I DONT KNOW FLALALALLAAAA... And oh, I also want to know what happen next on Cabin Pressure. And I have to wait until next year. Jshsjjahahahdkahagahshd oh god so much thing to wait. My patient is wearing thin.

Well, nampaknya sekian dulu ngblognya karena gw cape ngetik. Soalnya gw ngetik di Hamish bukan di Honey, karena kosan gw ga ada wifi dan gw belom beli modem. Sooo...

Cheerio guys

-giallesa

15/05/13 — Star Trek: Into Batchness (May contain spoilers, well, I lied. It has spoilers all over the place. Don't open if you haven't seen the movie)

Whoah, I don't even know where to start. All I know was, at this time yesterday, I still believe that I wouldn't get the chance to watch Star Trek Into Darkness. And yet here I am, sitting outside the 'bilik' and writing things to put on this blog about that awesome movie that I just finished to watch.

The only way to get the ticket was to use Mtix, that blasted thing is very important for me to have, but apparently I was too ignorant to made one. It allowed me to reserved a ticket online or using text message. I have to reserve a ticket before because I'm afraid that I wouldn't get the ticket (on time) if I have to queue. So yesterday, I was frantically asking everyone I met if they have an Mtix. Apparently they are all not.

My world just fall instantly (hyperbole okay). I have to go through another rehearsal in a crappy mood because of that. Then a friend sat on the corner of the room. I came to him because I secretly (judging from his personality and) hoping he have an Mtix. He didn't. Again, my world ju... What did he said?

"I said, I don't have one, but I'm sure I can borrow it from my friend."

Yadda-yadda-yadda, and then later that day I found myself staring at the purchasing code for the ticket. I almost couldn't sleep last night.

I woke up early this morning, I can't wait to watch the movie so I got up and dressed. I wore that purple shirt of mine and a black chino. I almost wear a scarf, but this isn't sherpalooza, no one would understand it. With a final glance on the mirror, I took off.

I arrived at the cinema long enough to get the ticket, queue for caramel popcorn and watch the trailer.

Sang Kyai: One of the actor looks like my ex, but I bet it's a great movie about war and religious stuff. :3
After Earth: Jaden Smith is the exact copy of his father
Monster Inc 2: I have waited 12 YEARS FOR THIS!
Turbo: I can't wait to see a snail racing with racing cars.
Coboy Junior: .... *head palm*

Okay, here come the spoilers: It was in 3D and....... I swear this is the best 3D movie I ever seen (which was sadly doesn't say anything. Boo-hoo.) The movie start with the scene (which I've seen in the teaser thousand times) where Captain Kirk (Chris Pine) and Bones (Karl Urban) were running toward a cliff in Nibiru Planet. Apparently they was "changing" the native's destiny by saving them from an active vulcano mountain. Sentiment–dilemma–yadda-yadda-yadda–violating starfleet's protocols–they got back home.

Then, a man, (the first time I see him, I thought he was someone, wasn't sure he was really someone that I know, until I leaned forward and... YES IT WAS NOEL CLARKE.) woke up with someone beside him. They got up and visit their sick—nearly died— daughter. Noel was on the balcony (?) when I heard a low deep baritone saying "I can help your daughter." (Or something like that, idk, what can I say, his voice, for a second, cut the oxygen supply to my brain I can't even think, just squealing like a mad fangirl and squirming like fish on dry land) The only thing they shoot was his arse, but I bloody well know who he is. (I mean, come on, I've seen those arse naked, like 15 times a day <well, I print screen the scene in 'To the Ends of the World' and put it on my phone so I can casually stare at it whenever I want>). Noel (I don't know his name in this movie), like any desperate dad, seems to agree to whatever John—pshh, nice name JJ—Harrison (my dear Benedict Cumberbatch) wants in order to save his daughter. The scene change to the Captain Kirk's room where he got a phone call. The scene change again, Kirk and Mr. Spock (Zachary Quinto) walk to starfleet's base. Yadda-yadda-yadda. Turned out Spock filed the report truthfully which cost Kirk his status as captain. The scene change to a laboratories where (my love) John took some of his blood and put a ring inside of a small, idk, thingy (?). The blood was, as I thought, injected by Noel to his daughter's IV and the ring... Well, it was meant for another thing. Again, the scene change, Noel was walking to Starfleet's archive (he saw John on the street, nodding at him <this scene was also on the teaser [and fuck, Benedict, why do you have to look so....fuck... Ah. I mean, so...... YOU KNOW HOW HE LOOK, IT'S HARD TO DESCRIBE, DAMN IT.]>) Then boom, yadda-yadda-yadda. The captains&first officers was gathered in daystorm room to discussed about that thingy, then Kirk have to zoomed out John's photo (I've seen this in the teaser) then Kirk speaks his mind about the thingy, he was getting close to a conclusion when suddenly dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor-dor- (another scene that was on the teaser) a helicopter shoots the room. It was John (and, fuck me, he is attractive. I burrowed myself deep in my seat, hoping it would at least minimised the inhuman-sound that I produce.)

Christopher Pine () died in Mr. Spock's arms, which makes Kirk determined to find John. Flalalala they located where John was (in Klingon). Marcus () ordered Kirk (who has gained his captain status again, just then) to kill John (without baring Starfleet's name) using torpedos (plural. Why do they have to shoot him with that much of a torpedo I don't understand). To this order, Mr. Spock convince Kirk that it was immoral to just kill John. He believes that John have to go to earth to be judged. Flalalala.

They almost reach Klingon when Chenkov (oh, I forgot, Scott<Simon Pegg [hahahah his accent, oh god, why do you have to be sooo fucking cute, Mr. Pegg]> resign after a heated argument with Kirk regarding the topedo. He didn't want to get the torpedos in the ship, because couldn't risk bringing the torpedo without knowing what's inside. He couldn't scanned the torpedo and the crew who deliver the torpedo said it was confidential stuff.) WHEN Chenkov said that there's been a leak in the engine.

Kirk commended a team to go to klingon in a smaller ship (without weapon whatsoever). The team consisted of Spock, Uhura (Zoe Saldana) 2 unknown people, and Kirk himself. Flalalalala. A klingon's random patrols captured them. And then...... DUNDUNDUNDUN... A man with scarf masking his face came and single handedly take out most of klingon's patrol (not really, I mean the Starfleet's team helped, but not so much <Again, this scene was featured in the teaser. And also, this is my favourite scene, [second to be specific] because Benedict darling— uh I mean, John Harrison is such a bad ass in this scene. He was soooo cool and effective. He is like a killing machine, sexy killing machine, mind you. [At this point, I don't even care what the person beside me think, I already said "I'm sorry" to him before the movie started, hoping that he would understand that I was apologising for this]>).

Flalalaa, all the patrolling klingon was dead and John aproach Kirk. He asked about the number of the torpedo that Mr. Sulu (John Cho) threaten to use if John didn't surrender himself. Kirk said 72 and John surrender almost after Kirk said 72 (and that moment, something clicked in my brain. I remember perfectly well about the scene in a teaser where John said "I can give you 72." And I said to myself. "So the torpedo does have something in it. That's why it's a secret").

Flalalaa, they escorted John to a cellar (?) <This scene remind me of the scene where the S.H.I.E.L.D. escorted Loki to his confinement.> [John didn't say anything, but dear God, I really can't help myself. Cumberbatch does have that eerily calm demeanour that make the back of my hair stands. Soo cool and hnnnnggg. *brb away to calm myself*

FAAAKKK. I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM EVEN AFTER I LEFT THE CINEMA. EVEN AFTER MY REHEARSAL, EVEN AFTER I GOT TO MY BEDSIT. EVEN NOW.] (Wow, it didn't work. If anything, it make it worse)

Got to the cellar, yadda-yadda-yadda, John arousing Kirk's temperament. And YES BABY THE CELLAR SCENE FROM 'I ALLOW IT' TEASER! FOR GOD SAKES, I'VE BEEN PREPARING MYSELF NOT TO SQUEE OR DOING SOMETHING STUPID. BUT GOD HELP ME, I QUOTED ALL OF MY BABY BENEDICT'S LINES. ALL. OF. HIS. LINES. MEANS I CAN'T HEAR WHAT HE SAID BECAUSE MY VOICE (even though I just whispered the words) STOPPING ME FROM HEARING THOSE DEEP, SEXY AND OH-SO-FUCKING-HELP-ME-VELVETY-SMOOTH-BARITONE VOICE OF HIS. GAAAAHHH!! *pulling hairs*

So fucking sexy. How does he manage to do that? I mean, DID HE KNOW THAT HE JUST KILL HALF OF HIS FANS JUST FROM TALKING WITH THAT FUCKING VOICE LIKE A FUCKING... Idk. I HAD EARGASM MY EARS ALMOST BLEED.

"Captain you're gonna punch me again, over and over until your arms weaken. Clearly you want to, so tell me why did you allow me to live?"
(I bit the inside of my mouth at the 'clearly you want to' part, because that's soooo SHERLOCK!)

"I surrender to you because despite your attempt to convince me otherways you seem to have a conscience, Mr. Kirk. If you did not than it will be impossible for me to convince you of the truth. 23174611 coordinate not far from earth. If you want to know, why I did what I did. Go and take a look."

"I can give you 72. And they're on board your ship, captain. They have been. All along."

I'm sorry I can't quote Kirk's lines because I don't have it on my working memory. FghJhghjkhgfhjks THE SCENE IS SOO AFHGFDFGHJHGFGHJGFUUUUUDGE. FROM THE MOMENT I SAW THE TEASER I SAID THAT THIS WILL BE MY FAVOURITE SCENE AND I WAS RIGHT! MY KNEES WEAKEN AND FLALALAA HE'S SO FUCKING PERFECT.

I don't know, I can't continue this. This is too much, I'm overwhelmed myself with my own private thought about Benny. This is too much. Well, long story short, it was a great. No, scratch that EPIC.. IT WAS EPIC! I got back from the cinema with a stupid grin/smile/sly smile plastered on my face. THERE! It's done, now I'm going to try to do something else because it is almost 2 in the morning and I need a distraction before sleep. And this... This whole spoilery thingy doesn't help. How could it help? Hahahah. Idk, so I'm stopping myself to write the full story, because this is a very lengthy spoiler. Not a full movie anyway. ;3

Sooo, with that I'm saving this note on my phone at 1.51 am on 16 May 2013... The only reason why I just post this is because I don't have internet connection at my bedsit or fucking signal. So this I me, posting from my phone.

More Rant. (Romantika dalam Gelap)

Hello y’all. Hari ini tanggal 30 April, which means tomorrow is the GR, and the day after tomorrow is the D-day. *Musik rada horor* Yap, mencekam adalah salah satu hal yang bisa mendeskripsikan situasi dan perasaanku saat ini. Karena this is my first time. EVER. I did felt a little tug on (supposedly) my heart, but I handled it by ignoring the feeling, hoping that it would get away sometime, but now I can feel the nudging sensation is getting stronger every second. And it’s getting worse because I have to wait until the show started and I don’t like to wait. It sucks! 

Anyway, tadi gw sempet ngomongin perasaan gw, dan entah kenapa serasa ngga bener-bener ditanggepin. I mean, I’m not complaining, karena emang ga ada juga yang bisa dilakukan mengenai itu. Tapi, oh God entah kenapa gw GR banget kalo dia memberikan gw semangat hanya dengan simple gesture. It may seems like it was just a simple gesture to you, but it’s a big, no scratch that, HUGE thing for me. Gw mendadak semangatnya kaya abis minum air di healing-well, bisa nambah semangat hidup. <3

Ada banyak banget kekurangan yang ada dalam diri gw regarding this play, I hope gw bisa menampilkan my best. Dan kebetulan sekali besok my dear Natasha bakal audisi untuk err, enrolment something, univ? School? Idk for sure pokonya penting buat dia, dan kami sudah berkali-kali saling menyemangati. Gw nyemangatin audisinya dia, dia nyemangatin play gw. :D

Mungkin cukup sekian yang bisa gw ucapkan hari ini. Gw bener-bener nervous dan hal yang membantu gw keep calm secara drastis cuma q. Karena pas stupen pun hal yang menenangkan gw dia, walaupun dia melakukannya secara tidak sadar. HA! Intinya, siapapun yang baca ini, tolong doain kelancaran pementasan kami.

DOAKAN KAMI! 

Ciao y'all.

Full Fandom (with minor q) Ranting. Sherlock & STID

Okay, first off, I've got my new 3TB hard disk which currently still sitting on my desk untouched because I have to install things and I don't think I can handle it right now, maybe later, but I soo excited with it. 3TB means 6 times bigger than my mums and I bought it myself! Ha! Eventhough I have to starve for the next few days, but.. I'm all good now! YAAY! *Happy dance*

Let's move on to the next topic. Sherlock. I wanna say that I love Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss and I know they're the best and I support all of their decision. YEAH even the one decision that destroyed my hope that in this Sherlock Holmes, I will not see John married to a woman. I KNOW I'm a bit delusional, but for fuck sakes it's because of the rumour that has been flooding around that says that they aren't going to cast Mary because there are NO MARY in this series. *sad face* I know I''m horrible. I mean I realised that Johnlock (even though it's obvious) isn't going to happen, but at least my misery will be a lighter if there's no Mary. BUT... As soon as I know who's gonna play Mary, my feelings change! OF COURSE I'M DELIGHTED TO HAVE AMANDA TOBE MARY. I have a really soft spot for that cutie.

FSDAHLGFSFLGJS FUCKKKK. I JSYT LOGGD INTO IMDB AND SAW THIS

Sherlock (TV series)
Mary Morstan

– The Empty Hearse … Mary Morstan (rumored)

I MEAN LIEK. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? THE EMPTY HEARSE? NOT THE SIGN OF THREE? NO NO NO NO NOOOO--- *HEAD SPINNING SO FAST MY STOMACH COYLDN'T HELP IT ANY MROE* HFGADHSHDGKJDGAJKD
OKAY CALM DOWN BITCH *slapping myself* yeah, logically, I should have know that SHE IS GOING TO BE IN THE EMPTY HEARSNEOHMYGOD HSAGHGSAKH. YES BECAUSE THE SHOOTING OF TEH SIGHN OF THREE JYST STARTED A COUPLE DAYS AGO AND I KNEW THAT SHE IS IN FACT HAS ALREADY ON THE SET SINCE (idk err...) NEARLY THE END OF THE EMPTY HEARSE SHOOTING? WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THAT SHOCKED. (well of course because I read the book and John met Mary for the for the first time in The Sign of Four so SHE SHOULD MEET JOHN IN THE SIGN OF THREE, RIGHT? RIGHT? RIGHT?)

dfkhagdhagdsgjha ANYWAY! That isn't the thing that I want to rant about. This is about my disappointment for (a small group in) my fandom. I thought that we're an civilised human being, and from my point of view, bullying Amanda ISN'T! Yeah, I know that we're a very very veryyyyy large huge big gigantic enormous fandom, certainly there will be some people who will be find something that they didn't like, but for god sake SHUT UP. If you want to speak your mind, then go ahead, but don't try to bully someone like that. It's just.. it wasn't very nice okay. Not good! I'm ashamed. AND Mark's partner's, Ian tweet just make it worse. It's about how delusional Johnlockian for thinking that Johnlock is really going to happen. (well, his tweet was a bit more subtle than that). Anyway I think I got made myself clear that I support them in a way most fans could only do: waiting patiently and accepting every decision they make about the series. And I do believe that I'm not that really good at waiting, so I can only focusedon the second thing. And to be honest I think it'll be great judging by the (spoiler) #setlock that appeared on my twitter timeline (yes, I'm not proud of myself that I succumb to open the link, but IT WAS RIGHT THERE??? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SHUT OFF THE VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD THAT CALLING ME *mocking tone* gitaa~ giiiitaaa~) HAH! Back to the point. It will be great. Amanda Abbington will be great, Mark, Steven, and Steve's writings are gonna be awesome, Martin baby is going to be magnificent, and my dear honey Benny will be FCUKING UNBELIEVABLY FLAWLESS.

UH UH UH!!! Speaking of Benny darling's movie, STID. It look amazing. Oops. No, it was UNBELIEVABLY AMAZING, WITH NO DOUBT I WILL SPLATTERING MY OVARIES ALL OVER THE PLACE IN THE CINEMA AND WILL BE AT ALL TIME HAVING AN EARGASM WHENEVER MY BABY'S SPEAKING..... yeah, that's more like it. I mean, siriusly, I've been browsing through youtube and find bits and snippets of the movie and it WAS ALL FANTASTICO! And Benny's voice. Hmm. I can get off simply from hearing his voice speaking in his John Harrison character. Deep, baritone, sexy, mindfucking voice. It almost sounds like he purred most of the time. And MY GOD HIS FACE. God, HOW COULD YOU CREATE SUCH A HANDSOME CREATURE LIKE HIM? His face doesn't help at all. I'm pretty sure from 5/6 STID clips that I watch I made gagging noise because my lust for him just choke me. Choking me like an artichoke (? Git, please.... *pleading face then shaking her head*) OKAY. I mean, how could you not get turned on by sexy and superbadass villain with sexy deep baritone voice? Anyway, I should bring emergency underwear to the cinema, you know, in case I can't hold it anymore. I know myself better that Ben's voice is not healthy for my pants.

I can't not express how excited I am to watch the movie. Oh I can't wait for the premier. OH premier.... *day dreaming* my Benny darling will be the one that look incredibly dashing that other people turn into gravels. He'll wear that suit and combed his hair back. He's going to look amazing, his face is going to look amazing, his hair is going to look amazing, his body is going to look tempting (? LOL), his clothes is going to look amazing, and his arse are going to look amazing! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE PHOTOGRAPH FROM THE PREMIER. :3

Anyway, I just found out that it's neither 9 May nor 17 May, the release date is 15 MAY. 9th was the release date in UK and 17th was in US.. So, 15!! It's is really convenient for me, because, first of all, my director just confirmed that we will be back from the show in 20th and you know how the story gonna end if it released at 9th? I'm too tired then I'm gonna postponed it until it the end. 15th May is good! Not too crowded but not too late (if i watch it on 21st). AND OH I'M GOING TO SAVE MY MONEY SO I CAN WATCH IT TWICE. I SWEAR I'M GOING TO WATCH IT TWICE!! Or even three times!

Lastly, I just want to stop putting label on my feeling toward q, because HELL idk if I just like him, love him, obesessed with him, adore him, fangirling at him, or just confused, because I swear to God watching him giggles turn my insides into hundred thousands of butterflies that whirrling in my stomach, and yet I didn't really............. AH never mind that! POKONYA LONGLIVE CUMBERLORD!

OH I JUST REMEMBER. I... am starting to love Benedict all over again. The way it excite me when I heard someone mentioned him, the way his face makes me smile, the way I get extra defensive whenever I heard someone bad mouthing him. The proud moment when you can bragged about him. Everything! <3 Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch


KAY, LONG LIVE AND PROSPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

q. Rant. Fangirl. Not necessarily in that order.

Yo, sudah berkali-kali gw berniat untuk memposting sesuatu, namun internet BSR seperti biasa being a bitch dan udah berkali-kali juga postan gw ilang gara-gara internetnya tiba-tiba crash dan ngga bisa retrieve post yang gw mau post dan akhirnya honey lah yang kena sasaran kemarahan: dicacimaki di slammed shut, di tinggalkan begitu saja. (kasian honey *ngelus-ngelus honey*)

Anyway, gw baru aja ngechat sama temen zaman smp. Ngechat dan ngeskype. Demi Neptunus hal ini membuat gw semakin kangen dengan masa SMP, yang kebetulan banget sehari sebelomnya gw abis ngerant di twitter about how much I miss my junior high school friends. (Or is it just a coincident?) hmm, mungkin aja gw abis kangen banget sama temen-temen jaman smp terus tadi liat dia ol makanya jadi berhasrat untuk ngeskype. *nods* possible.

Ah, iya, gw mau menceritakan sedikit tentang kegiatan kampus. Tepatnya sih kegiatan perteateran. I love, and I do mean it when I say LOVE, theatre. It seems scary at first but once you got a hold of this thing, you gotta love it. I do love joining this play, but by GOD jam pulangnya selalu membuatku bermasalah dengan satpam asrama. Well, sebenernya bisa sih izin pulang duluan, tapi kayanya ga enak kalo terlalu sering. Mau nginep, ngga enak nginep terus. Mau malkun/nongkrong sampe pagi juga kayanya ngga sehat dan seringkali besoknya kuliah pagi. GW BUTUH NYARI KOSAN YANG DUAPULUHEMPATJAMBUKA.



Terus, balik lagi topik yang sudah lama hot banget di blog gw. q.

Gw baru menyadari kenapa gw kayanya ngga berbuat banyak demi kelanjutan cerita q setelah bercerita dengan seseorang. Sebut saja bunga bangkai, yang kemudian menceritakan kalo dia sedang berada dalam situasi yang sama dengan gw. Dalam percakapan itu gw menyadari bahwa:

I'm not some sort of pathetic human being. I just like him, but I'm not planning to do anyhthing about this feeling, not because of the word 'off market' (oke 50%, but---), because it also felt nice to have someone that you like and don't have any expectation on him. Sejenis hubungan gw sama Benedict Cumberbatch. Hubungan yang sangat one-sided, but I liked it! Gw bisa adore him from afar or hangout with him, tapi ga harus memaksa diri keep up dengan semua kabar terbaru dia.

Wait gw ngomong apaan sih?

Pokonya intinya kaya gw suka Ben. Gw bisa aja nyimpen foto Ben, nonton film Ben, dengerin suara Ben, tapi toh gw ngga pernah berusaha untuk ngirim fanmail ke Ben. Dan ngga juga gw berharap si Ben putus sama pacarnya (dulu waktu dia masih punya pacar). Gw bisa aja ngorek sana sini nanyain kabar Ben dari temen-temen fangirl, but that's the line, gw ngga pernah berusaha menghubungi Ben lewat fanmailnya. Nor do I wish that someday Ben bakalan dateng ke kamar gw dan nyium kening gw dan akhirnya ngajakin gw nikah kemudian we drive off to the sunset. *ngapus iler* oke, yang terakhir sih gw berharap kaya gitu kalo ke Ben, tapi yakinlah sumpah gw ngga berharap kaya gitu ke q.

Ya, bisa disimpulkan dari sini bahwa pada akhirnya gw mengerti, gw mungkin bukan suka sama q, gw cuma fangirling toward him. Kenapa bisa dibilang fangirling? Pertama: gw memang mengagumi dia. Dua: Gw ngga pernah ngerasa jadi health inspector. Which is one of the thing that puzzled me at first. Gw kalo sayang seseorang pasti bakalan jadi health inspector. Ini boro-boro jadi health inspector, gw malahan jadi ikutan ga sehat. Tiga: gw mencontoh dia, in a similar way dengan gw mencontoh Benedict. Empat: gw lebih berkeinginan untuk ngajak dia diskusi daripada showing my affection toward him. Lima: Gw sering banget ngerasa dia cute banget sama pacarnya dan I always pray for them to be together forever. And six: the question 'did you really fall in love with him, or did you just love the idea of falling in love with him?' which always slapped me in the face. Gw ngga bisa langsung jawab pertanyaan itu. Ngga bisa langsung jawab karena deep down gw udah tau jawabannya apaan. Hooh gitulah kira-kira.



By the way BBC is great, still mad with Merlin's ending, but I'm feeling happy because they've start filming Sherlock and DW's 50th Anniversary is on the way. AND FOR GOD SAKES THEY MANAGE TO GET BILLIE!!! I thought Billie said she'll not returning in 50th. BUT I'M HAPPY!!! OH AND FOR GOD SAKE STID IS ON THE CINEMA STARTING 9 MAY. THAT'S IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT BLASTED SHOW (sorry, penbes, ga blasted ko, it's just an expression) AND I CAN FEEL THAT MY STOMACH IS GROWLING IN HAPPY. I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE SOME PHOTOGRAPH FROM THE SET. (SHERLOCK SET) DERPY PHOTO FROM BOTH MARTIN FREEMAN, 42 YEARS OLD MAN WITH GRAPES ON HIS EYES AND BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH, 36 YEARS OLD MAN WITH HANDSFREE ON HIS EYES. MARK GATISS BEING THE TROLL HE ALWAYS HAS. FORGODSAKES SOMEONE NEED TO PUT ME ON MEDICATION, IT'S NOT HEALTHY TO FANGIRL THIS MUCH IN THIS SUCH A SHORT TIME. AND ALSO I NEED A TOTAL REWATCH OF HIMYM, TORCHWOOD, DOCTOR WHO, SUPERNATURAL, HARRY POTTER, THE WALKING DEAD, MERLIN ANYTHING IN MY HARD DISK ACTUALLY. AH OH AND NEWS REGARDING HARDDISK, I'M CURRENTLY ORDERING A 3TERABYTE HARD DISK SO I CAN RETURN THIS 500GB ONE TO MUM. OH HEAVEN......................

I don't really know what am I typiing here. Just want to post something before the internet did it again. Now I really need to sleep. Happy Monday Morning folks.

A little note from earlier this month

Ah, gw baru inget, salah satu alasan gw kenapa gw mau ngepost disini adalah kemaren gw abis mengeluarkan statement yang kurang tepat kepada salah satu temen gw. Hal itu gw lakukan karena dia bilang dia ngga punya sumber kesedihan (buat pendalaman karakter sedih dalam suatu tarian) hmm, jadi sebenernya hal yang gw sampein ke dia itu bener. Gw emang <i>sempet</i> kecewa sama dia, but that's it. Gw sekarang udah ngga merasa kecewa atau gimana gitu sama dia. The only purpose kenapa gw ngasih tau itu ke dia karena dia butuh motivasi sedih dan gw juga emang belom jujur sama dia tentang kekecewaan gw ke dia yang mengenai hal itu. Memang belom dapet momentnya aja.

Anyway, if you read this, I just want you to know that what you did while it hurt so much at that time, it made me look the other way. And in that other way, I found something. I learn somehing. And it made me happy. Ah, berhubung gw mau ngepost lagi, gw juga mau ngebahas lagi kalo gw baru aja nonton vid di youtube dimana BENEDICT STATE THAT HE ALREADY SIGN FOR FOURTH SEASON'S CONTRACT. AND BY GOD IT MEANS IT'S NOT OVER.

FOR FUCK SAKES I WANT TO JUMP IN CELEBRATION.

Oh iya, kemaren gw juga baru ngedownload the infamous 'Twist and Shout'. Gw masih mempersiapkan mental gw untuk menangis tersedu sedu, karena reviewnya di twitter bener-bener bikin gw khawatir kalo ini bakalan end up kaya 'AOTW'. Lagian this is the second or third Destiel fic yang gw mau baca. sdfhghjfgjksdgfjksdgfkjgsdjkfgsdjk setengah penasaran, setengah ngga mau mati karena kebanyakan nangis.

btw, sekarang gw dipanggil ke G100 buat diskusi RDG yang akan berlangsung pada tanggal 2 Mei nanti. fuck kurang dari 3 minggu. jdhfghgfhgdfhjsghj yep, kalo gitu gw bakal menyudahi hal ini saja. byeee---

Aftermath: q

Hello. Saya kembali mencoba untuk menulis di blog ini sekali lagi pada bulan ini. Sebenarnya gw udah pernah nulis postan ini, namun seperti biasa BSR's internet is being a bitch and it cost me a very lenghty post. (there there, jangan sedih Git)

First of all, gw ingin membahas sesuatu yang menyenangkan dulu, yaitu Sherlock. Sebenernya Sherlock udah mulai shooting bulan Maret lalu dan gw pun sudah sempet menulis panjang lebar mengenai kebahagiaan gw, namun karena satu dan dua hal akhirnya gw ngga jadi ngepost. And then I watch this beautiful and epic vids in youtube where theguardian interviewed Steven Moffat, Mark Gatiss, and Andrew Scott about Sherlock Season 3 it was a video released August last year and good GOD I almost wet my pants when Andrew said it should have been 7 years and not 18 month. I want them to know that I'll haunt them for the rest of their life if I died before I watch the next season.

Anyway perut gw sering mendadak sakit waktu buka twitter account fangirling terus tiba-tiba ngeliat tweet about Sherlock. Sedihnya gw sering pengen dapet teaser atau something like photo from the set, but I don't want a spoiler. I did have a new Benny photo from the set, but it only showed Benny's neck. I'M DYING TO SEE A SPOILER BUT DON'T WANT TO RUINNED THE SUSPENSE. JHAGDDSLAGJJ FANGIRL GALAU!

By the way, ditinjau dari judulnya yang The Empty Hearse (adaptasi The Empty House) hearse yang di maksud disini adalah HEARSE MOBIL JENAZAHNYA SHERLCOIDSOUKOHSDFKHDFBK. or. If they want to add new twist for this series, Jim's hearse too (hal ini didukung dengan video yang gw omongin diatas, kenapa juga Andrew Scott tau endingnya season 3?) BUT THAT'S NOT FUCKING POSSIBLE. THEY ARE TOO MUCH OF SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE'S FANS TO DEFY THE CANON. (Who knows, Git, they're such a troll, they work in mysterious ways) yeah, mysterious my arse, I know in the end they'll make us fangirl cry so hard we could drown ourselves in our tears (possibly a blood tears). Such a dacryphilia that I grant you.

Oh yeah, I haven't finish reading the first series of Sherlock book and I'm not intended to read it until this year's Christmas. I could be reading Sherlock sooner, but I WILL NOT READ 'The Empty House' before I watch Sherlock, because I don't want spoiler. FEEEKKK. I WANT TO GO TO LONDON AND FEEEEKKKK. ICANT EVEN. Pengen banget bahas Sherlock tapinya ngga nikmat banget kalo belom tau apa-apa tentang Sherlock tapi udah ranting, nanti ga bener informasinya salah, malu pula. Tapi kalo baca ngga suka, nanti spoiler. :<

Intinya sebenernya pengen baca spoiler buat Sherlock, TAPINGGA MAU SPOILER JUGA SIHHH. NGSJAGDIJHFGJDFGKSFG TAKUTNYA NGGA SERU. Tapi masa pesimis banget sih sama Sherlock? Kan Sherlock itu amazing sekali gw udh baca A Study In Scarlet aja masih kebat-kebit nonton A Study In Pink. :< PENGEN TAPI NGGA PENGEN. BOYOOOOT.
(Git boyot banget jadi galau cuma gara-gara Sherlock <INI BUKAN CUMA PERSOALAN BIASAA >)

LOOK AT THIS QUOTES

“We made a decision right from the get-go that he would not do disguise in the traditional sense,” Gatiss says. “He actually has a line in ‘The Great Game’ which is ‘The art of disguise is knowing how to hide in plain sight’ and that was because, right from the start, I thought modern day Sherlock Holmes would not put putty noses on, he would basically be standing behind you now and you wouldn’t know he was there. Ben [Cumberbatch] has put on various costumes, but it’s more about being invisible.”

– Mark Gatiss on the reappearance of Sherlock in series 3

GW MAU MATI BACANYA. ARTINYA JOHN BAKALAN DIKASIH LIAT SHERLOCK IN PLAIN SIGHT TAPI NGGA NYADAR KALO ITU SHERLOCK, MY GOD GW PASTI BAKALAN TERIAK TERIAK NONTONNYA. FAKDNADHASKLDHALFGAK;HKN MDFHSGLJKFJ MARK THE KING OF TROLLL DAVDHJLGSHKDGHJ

AND ANOTHER QUOTES FROM MARK GODTISS

 “I always found it a little unlikely that Dr Watson’s only reaction was to faint for instance – as supposed to possibly a stream of terrible swear words.”

DAN MEMANG SEHARUSNYA JOHN NONJOK SHERLOCK. NGGA ADIL KALO SI JOHN CUMA PINGSAN BLABLABLA. AFTER THROWING PUNCHES TO HIM, HE OUGHT TO FUCK SHERLOCK HARD AND LONG.

PENGEN BUNUH ORANG. KENAPA SHERLOCK NGGA CEPET-CEPET DI AIRED SIH? Ah, no wait, kadang menunggu adalah salah satu alasan kenapa gw puas banget nonton Sherlock. Karena gw berhasil menahan diri untuk terlalu freaking out ngga nonton Sherlock. ENVEN THOUGH THIOS ISN'T REALLY COUNT AS SOMETHING YOU COULD SAY 'NOT-FREAKING-OUT' FEEEKKK. 

TOO MUCH SPECULATION AND I CAN'T HANDLE GOING THROUGH THIS SHIT EVERYTIME SOMETHING REMIND ME OF SHERLOCK. AND I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT IT HAPPENED LOTS OF TIME, PARTLY BECAUSE I STILL WRITING FANFICS AND ALSIO BECAUSE I HAPPENED TO USE SHERLOCK'S SKIN ON MY PHONE. AND I JSUT WANT TO POINT OUT THAT IN A COUPLE MONTH THERE WILL BE MASSIVE BLOOD ON MY WALL. BECAYUSE MY OVARIES COULDN'T HANDLE THE FEELING, I HOPE I COULD BE MORE CALM BUT I CAN'T.

Oh, yeah, berhubung judul post hari ini aftermath: q, gw juga bakalan ngebahas q.
Yes, frekuensi gw untuk uring-uringan tiap liat his reactions ke 'dia' sudah mulai berkurang.
Yes, gw udah jarang ngerasain butterflies on my stomach.
But no, gw masih suka q. 

A story irl: q

Berbulan-bulan sudah gw ngga nulis something disini, tapi baru sekarang ini gw merasakan rindu mengetik sesuatu.

*snort*

I lied. I never missed writing on this blog. Gw memang bukan tipe penulis blog kaya temen-temen smp gw yang kayanya blognya ngga pernah mati. Gw lebih suka nulis di twitter yang cuma 140  character, memaksa gw untuk langsung ngepost ide atau pikiran yang terlintas tanpa mengindahkan sistematika atau apapun itu yang penting dalam hal penulisan. Twitter memaksa gw untuk mempersingkat tulisan gw supaya ngga bertele-tele. Ini semua karena gw adalah makluk campuran paranoid, self-conscious, (a bit) perfectionist yang sering banget melenceng dan terdistraksi dalam mengerjakan sesuatu —kadang gw ngerasa takut kalo gw ADHD, tapinya gw ngga semelenceng itu dan gw ngga bener-bener memiliki ciri-ciri penderita ADHD. Kaya yang sekarang gw lakukan. Sebenernya gw mau ngerangkum tentang Erikson, salah satu tokoh psikologi buat tugas theories of personality, tapi karena penasaran sama nilai psikologi dasar, akhirnya gw membuka internet dan entah kenapa tiba-tiba ngetik giallesa.blogspot.com in the address column. Dan another example from my severe distraction-problem is that when I first click the new post button, hal yang ingin gw lakukan adalah menuliskan sesuatu yang berhubungan dengan topik yang lagi hot irl gw bukan malah ngomentarin kenapa gw mau nulis atau apa. Anyway sebelum gw terdistraksi lagi dan akhirnya memilih untuk cuma ngesave this post di draft, gw harus langsung membicarakan yang gw maksud dengan hot topic.

Ehm, so where do I have to start? *mikir beberapa menit*
Oke, dimulai dari pas masuk ugm aja deh (ugh, her other problem: she have the tendency to tell something waaaay before the real problem start). Jadi gw inget gw pindah ke BSR tanggal 23 Agustus dan bla-bla-bla ngurusin segala sesuatu untuk perkuliahan dan ospek dari tanggal segitu, kemudian beberapa hari setelahnya kita ospek, dan voila saat ospek gw melihat seseorang yang cute, kita sebut saja dia si H. I like seeing him. Bukan dalam artian like 'like', tapi sejenis yah lucu aja ngeliat si H ini. Kemudian perkuliahan berjalan beberapa bulan, disitu gw juga merasa ada orang yang lucu, sebut saja si M. Wait, no, si M ngga lucu, dia sejenis pintar, rajin, dan sedikit keren. Hal inilah yang membuat gw lama-lama jadi respect ke dia. Dari situ nampaknya gw menunjukan gejala 'suka' namun masih pada tingkat rendahan. Gw juga sempet cerita sama my roommate, si jidat kinclong: Jelly. Sehingga bak pegosip dan giggler tingkat dewa kalo si M melakukan tindakan keren sedikit gw heboooh banget ceritanya sama si Jelly. Nah, pada awalnya gw cuma cerita sama di Jelly, namun ada temen kelompok ospek juga yang akhirnya gw ceritain. Inilah yang menjadi awal mula segalanya. (Wait, awal dari mana, Git? Ini bahkan belum menyentuh akar permasalahan. *geleng-geleng*)

*barusan mendelete sekitar 25 lines karena melenceng dari tujuan awal*
Okeh. Pokonya kemudian ada permasalahan yang membuat gw akhirnya kapok cerita ke orang-orang tentang perasaan gw yang sebenarnya. Maka dari itu gw mulailah merahasiakan perasaan gw. (By the way rasa entah suka atau respectnya ke si M dengan seketika padam karena permasalahan itu). Gw ngga inget jelas apakah benar kronologinya, tapi kayanya setelah itu gw bertemu dengan si R. Naah, si R ini sebenernya gw udah kenal dari zaman pertama kali masuk kuliah, tapi ya baru sadarnya setelah dua bulan gw ketemu dia. Gw sebenernya ngga suka sama dia, tapi dia mencentrang banyak sekali box 'my type' sehingga kadang gw ngomong ke Jelly 'kenapa ya gw ngga suka aja sama dia?'. Ini bener-bener random karena deket sama diapun sebenernya engga, cuma karena sebatas wondering aja kenapa orang yang banyak mencentrang box 'my type' ngga ber appeal ke gw.

Anyway, di pertengahan gw berkata 'kenapa ya gw ngga suka aja sama dia?' ke si R, gw mulai mengenal seseorang lain. Dia adalah si q (akhirnya sampe juga ke topik utama kita: q *tepuk tangan*). Gw sebenernya udah dari ospek tau orangnya, tapi baru belakangan bener-bener tau 'oh, ini toh yang namanya q'.

*deleting 18 lines because it was too obvious siapa yang lagi gw omongin*
Intinya dia sebenernya mempunyai sesuatu hal yang gw —secara pribadi— asosiasiin dengan kenangan buruk, tapi entah kenapa itulah yang membuat gw tertarik sama dia. Bahkan pada endingnya gw berhenti mengasosiasikan hal itu dengan kenangan buruk dan malah jadi cuma inget dia saat ngomongin atau mengingat hal itu.

Hoh. Nah, balik lagi ke masalah trust issue. Karena sudah pernah trauma pernah cerita sesuatu ke seseorang dan berujung pada permasalahan yang tidak menyenangkan, gw memutuskan untuk ngga menceritakan hal ini ke siapa-siapa. Gw tetap merahasiakan tentang perasaan gw, karena first gw belom yakin bener apakah ini beneran suka atau cuma suka asal lewat kaya masalah gw ke H, sehingga akhirnya gw tetap berkutat dengan pertanyaan gw 'kenapa ya gw ngga suka aja sama R?'

Beberapa bulan berlalu (lebay ah, cuma dua bulan <tapi dua bulan di kampus berasa kaya dua tahun>) dan gw semakin banyak memberi tick entah di box 'my type' atau dari box 'deal breaker'. Ajaibnya, meski sudah menjebol tick di box 'deal breaker', gw tetep tertarik sama dia. Butterflies on my stomach triumph over all of his bad side lah. Yah, mungkin dari situ juga sih gw sadar kalo perasaan gw ke q itu udah masuk ke stage 2 alias lebih parah dari stage waktu sama si M.

Akhirnya, setelah dua setengah bulan merasakan gejolak aneh (najong banget bahasa lo <iye bawel>) gw akhirnya decided to talk to someone. Jelly. Sebenernya dia sangat dapat dipercaya, dari awalpun gw cerita sama dia sebenernya ngga akan menimbulkan masalah besar, namun ya karena trauma itu so I took precaution and wait a little while before I say anything.

Sudah menjadi common knowledge bahwa 'when you tell someone about your feelings, it'll magnify the effect.' dan maka dari itulah gw mulai menjadi sloppy dalam segala hal. Ngetweet sana sini (right, even though cuma di account fangirling, tapi ternyata ada salah satu temen irl karena tweet di account fangirl), mata berbinar saat ngeliat dia. Pokonya gw berasa anak SD lah.

Sekarang udah nyaris bulan keempat gw suka sama dia. Yang gw rasa bukannya makin menurun atau gimana, malah reaksi gw ke dia semakin menguat. Lololol. Gw sadar beberapa minggu lalu gw sudah masuk stage 4 karena gw mulai frontal (eg: nulis di twitter account biasa dan nulis disini). Untungnya gw punya pager yang keep me down. 'Am I really like him, or just like the idea of liking him?' Pertanyaan itulah yang berulang-ulang menyelamatkan gw dari badai jealousy yang ngga jelas. (*scoff* yeah jealous. It's unneasy how easy it was to make Gita jealous <I know, I feel it too *emot sedih*>.) Gw bahkan sempet pernah pissed off banget sama seseorang, tapi ya itu konyol sih ceritanya dan sangat-sangat irrasional sekali, andai kata gw kasih kata kuncinya, semua orang pasti bisa langsung mengidentifikasi kenapa itu konyol, tapi kalo gw kasih tau semua juga bakalan tau siapa q itu. (Sebenernya ngga mengejutkan juga kalo semua orang tau, lo juga sih keterlaluan obviousnya <yaudah sih maap, khilaf>)

Anyway, sekarang gw sudah ditahap menemukan inner peace. Gw telah tenang dan damai, bahkan sudah tidak pernah mengalami jealous lagi (padahal kalo mendadak ngeliat dia masih sering #nyek tuh *wiggling eyebrows*). Segala kegelisahan gw sudah terselesaikan, dan diapun entah kenapa semakin deket sama gw (well, lebih ke arah friendly sih, jangan suka bikin statement yang bikin sakit perut sakit diri sendiri dong ah, lemah lo). Sekarang gw ngga harus ngambil jalur memutar tiap kali gw ngeliat dia atau ngehubungin orang lain untuk menghindari ngehubungin dia supaya ngga dituduh nyari-nyari alesan aja (emang engga po? <t-_-t fak lah>). Gw sekarang sudah tenang, dan karena itulah gw memutuskan untuk menuliskannya disini.

Hmm.... sebenernya tulisan ini sangat tidak layak untuk dipublish, karena 50% mengandung kode yang menyebabkan ini lebih terkesan seperti kode nuklir yang harus dicermati lebih dalam bukan jenis postan blak-blakan yang ingin gw buat. (Ya kan tapi demi nama baik para tersangka, mereka di samarkan...kecuali Jelly, gapapa lah orang dia baik disini tulisannya ngga ada yang menjelek-jelekkan ini. Lagian harusnya lo ngerasa senang dengan dia) Yeah because of those things sehingga saya putuskan untuk tidak menyamarkan namanya.

Haaahh, itulah sedikit cerita dari Gita (dan Gia <yang super bawel>) mengenai si q. Marilah kita akhiri post kali ini dengan tarian kemenangan karena pada akhirnya gw bisa nulis ini sampe selesai dan berniat untuk benar-benar mempublishnya, bukan cuma ngesave di draft (hooh, malu-maluin banget sih punya blog post benerannya cuma segitu, sisanya di draft.... <baweeeeel>)

*nari kemenangan* (*ikutan nari*)


cheerio,
gita—