So, tadi waktu bangun, gw punya niatan mau bikin blog ini blog half fangirling blog half my real life blog, dan sedari tadi gw udh 4 jam utak-atik segala profilnya lah, designnya, about me nya apa sampe tetek bengeknya, namun akhirnya gw putuskan kalo gw setengahin gitu, blog gw jadi ngga indah sama sekali. Jadilah gw tetep stick ke format awal. blog ini khusus kehidupan gw yang sinetron dan ngga pernah abis petualangannya. Ha-ha-ha.
Tadi sore, sekitar jam (blank) gw lupa pokonya intinya ada temen gw yang ngeblog tentang ke romantisan kota Yogyakarta. Kota yang kelak akan gw tempat untuk sekitar 3 setengah tahun (yeah, I'm pretty optimistic that I can finish this in 3 and a half year. WISH ME LUCK PEOPLE!!)
Ada hal mistik dari kota ini yang gw ngga bisa ilangin dari pertama kali gw kunjungin. Bukan mistik a.k.a spooky gimana gitu ya, mystical and exciting. Kota yang damai, santai dan siriusly romantic (Yeah, I agree that city is somehow seems romantic) Gw yakin gw bakalan betah disana---------
Okay I lied. I don't like this at all. I mean, I'm grateful that I got accepted in UGM. No you cannot understand what does it means to me. I means something bigger than 'just get into public school' No-- I got second chance. To prove to other that I'm not somekind of loser and a non-finisher. This is my golden ticket. To finish something that I want. Something that I like, my passion.
But that's not the problem.
This city is the place where my heart lies.
I grew up in several different places but I can reach that place within an hour with car, even though I rarely go there, but at least I know I can go there IF I want to. This is so much harder then I thought. I can't understand how come people not missing their hometown. I'm sorry if you think imma cry baby. I just want everyone to know that moving away isn't something that I really like.
I don't like changes. I like my room. I like it even if I don't have a doorknob or curtain. Even if wifi didn't reach my bed so I have to sit on the floor, and sometimes, when my sister suddenly want to check me out I got knocked up because I sit behind the door (which is miraculously the only place that have the strongest wifi signal in my room).
ANYWAY that's not the thing that I want to say. It's the people that I left here that makes this thousand times harder. I know I'm not the kind of person who like to text/call/chat my friends. I rarely goes to the assembly (assembly? hah! my strange vocabulary, mind you). I didn't go to their touring. I didn't regularly check out my friends' blog, I hate to sign in to facebook even though I know we have a message thread there. But believe me. I love them all. And leaving them is the biggest reason I always pretend to be busy when my mom ask me to do the packing.
This is not the kind of thing that I can do easily. I have this (some sort of) abandonment issue. Not talking about him leaving me. I don't care. (I lied again. So what? Problem?) Anyway. this is always happen. I don't know why, but I always feel left behind. Mostly cause I'm not permitted to go outside.
I have 5 bestfriend in JHS, two of them now live in Bandung, but they all meet each other far often then me getting to meet them. I sometimes go to Cibubur for days but I can't go to meet them because I have to stay in the house.
4 bestfriend in SHS, well, I'm not really having any problem with them (now) because our daily activity is mainly in Jakarta --except si boyot. I guess I'm missing her. That's the only problem. :<
And I have friends (more like a family tho--) I always try to attend the events, but it's they always seem to think that that is never enough because maybe in 100 meeting I only attended like 20 times. I don't know how come they always come, but they always did, and that makes my effort seems little and unappreciated. BZZZTT. Sorry that's not the point, the point is.... I seems to spend to little time with them. And every time they brag about it I always felt left behind (even though it's mostly my fault 'cause I'm not good at asking permission or not rebellious enough to lie and force myself to come.)
So there you have me. I'm not good at making friends, and I have a couple of friends here that I'm not ready to leave because of that irrational abandonment issue that actually not really an abandonment problem. Oh God, I think too much that I lose my wit. HELP WHY AM I WRITING THIS?????
Tadi sore, sekitar jam (blank) gw lupa pokonya intinya ada temen gw yang ngeblog tentang ke romantisan kota Yogyakarta. Kota yang kelak akan gw tempat untuk sekitar 3 setengah tahun (yeah, I'm pretty optimistic that I can finish this in 3 and a half year. WISH ME LUCK PEOPLE!!)
Ada hal mistik dari kota ini yang gw ngga bisa ilangin dari pertama kali gw kunjungin. Bukan mistik a.k.a spooky gimana gitu ya, mystical and exciting. Kota yang damai, santai dan siriusly romantic (Yeah, I agree that city is somehow seems romantic) Gw yakin gw bakalan betah disana---------
Okay I lied. I don't like this at all. I mean, I'm grateful that I got accepted in UGM. No you cannot understand what does it means to me. I means something bigger than 'just get into public school' No-- I got second chance. To prove to other that I'm not somekind of loser and a non-finisher. This is my golden ticket. To finish something that I want. Something that I like, my passion.
But that's not the problem.
This city is the place where my heart lies.
I grew up in several different places but I can reach that place within an hour with car, even though I rarely go there, but at least I know I can go there IF I want to. This is so much harder then I thought. I can't understand how come people not missing their hometown. I'm sorry if you think imma cry baby. I just want everyone to know that moving away isn't something that I really like.
I don't like changes. I like my room. I like it even if I don't have a doorknob or curtain. Even if wifi didn't reach my bed so I have to sit on the floor, and sometimes, when my sister suddenly want to check me out I got knocked up because I sit behind the door (which is miraculously the only place that have the strongest wifi signal in my room).
ANYWAY that's not the thing that I want to say. It's the people that I left here that makes this thousand times harder. I know I'm not the kind of person who like to text/call/chat my friends. I rarely goes to the assembly (assembly? hah! my strange vocabulary, mind you). I didn't go to their touring. I didn't regularly check out my friends' blog, I hate to sign in to facebook even though I know we have a message thread there. But believe me. I love them all. And leaving them is the biggest reason I always pretend to be busy when my mom ask me to do the packing.
This is not the kind of thing that I can do easily. I have this (some sort of) abandonment issue. Not talking about him leaving me. I don't care. (I lied again. So what? Problem?) Anyway. this is always happen. I don't know why, but I always feel left behind. Mostly cause I'm not permitted to go outside.
I have 5 bestfriend in JHS, two of them now live in Bandung, but they all meet each other far often then me getting to meet them. I sometimes go to Cibubur for days but I can't go to meet them because I have to stay in the house.
4 bestfriend in SHS, well, I'm not really having any problem with them (now) because our daily activity is mainly in Jakarta --except si boyot. I guess I'm missing her. That's the only problem. :<
And I have friends (more like a family tho--) I always try to attend the events, but it's they always seem to think that that is never enough because maybe in 100 meeting I only attended like 20 times. I don't know how come they always come, but they always did, and that makes my effort seems little and unappreciated. BZZZTT. Sorry that's not the point, the point is.... I seems to spend to little time with them. And every time they brag about it I always felt left behind (even though it's mostly my fault 'cause I'm not good at asking permission or not rebellious enough to lie and force myself to come.)
So there you have me. I'm not good at making friends, and I have a couple of friends here that I'm not ready to leave because of that irrational abandonment issue that actually not really an abandonment problem. Oh God, I think too much that I lose my wit. HELP WHY AM I WRITING THIS?????
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